The Top Ten Elvins

“Another visitor. Stay a while… stay forever!

The name Elvin is a great name. Yes, I said that. In an age of giving your children names with alternate spelling (e.g.: βЃα¥dÖÑ) or ones that are too clever by half, (e.g.: Blitzø – but the “ø” is silent), it’s time to go back to the old school. Instead of naming your son Legolas, why not choose a name that is one letter different from something made by Legolas and his kin? The problem is that Elvin has never been a popular name. And that needs to change! The heyday of Elvin is apparently the late 1940s, because most Elvins on this list came to prominence during the 1970s. Unless you are really into Azerbaijani soccer football, you probably don’t know that many people named Elvin. Don’t fear, I’m here to help.
Without further ado, here is my list of the Who’s Who of Who again?

The Education of I, Omnibus: Baseball Edition

You can’t tell from this b&w photo, but the jersey is orange, the lettering and the cap is blue.

“Well, a-beat the drum and hold the phone
The sun came out today
We’re born again, there’s new grass on the field
A-roundin’ third and headed for home
It’s a brown-eyed handsome man
Anyone can understand the way I feel”

John Fogerty, “Centerfield”

They say you never forget your first love. My first love is, was, and forever will be baseball. How much do I love baseball? So much that I have been struck in the mouth with hardballs three times, and still I come back for more. It has been undocumented…until now. Some are annual front row regular season ticket holders. Some call the all-sports radio stations daily. Some debate 24/7 over social media. I have neither the money, time, nor patience to out-fandom, or out-purity these people. Sure, I play and have played multiple sports over time. I am a fan of many other sports that I have not partaken in yet. And I have a number of anecdotes for these sports as well. But I don’t believe those compare to those I have regarding the American national pastime.

The I, Omnibus Top Ten 80s song titles I’d love to see as a title of a movie/series

On May 10, 2020, HBO will debut a mini series, which is based off a novel written in 1998. But the title shares its name with the chorus of a popular 1980s ballad. This coincidence is not a one-time random piece of trivia. This is the latest in an ongoing trend over the past several years in which Hollywood is taking popular song titles and lyrics from the 1980s to title their new movies, mini series, and regular series on streaming sites. Although there are a small number whose plot is based on the songs from yesteryear, most have a completely original story and share the title only. But that got me thinking: what other 1980s song titles could Hollywood use to get me to watch – regardless of the actual plot?

The Education of I, Omnibus: Music Edition

Is it any wonder this is one of my favorite albums?

“Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so important doesn’t matter”

– “Weird Al” Yankovic, “Everything You Know Is Wrong”

I can not overstate how much music has meant to me. Do you remember how Shinji Ikari would listen to the same cassette tape over and over on his Walkman in Neon Genesis Evangelion? Yeah, I can relate to that. Do you remember the ending of 311’s song, “Hey You”? If not, the big reveal is that the “long time friend” and “constant companion” of the singer is… music. Yeah, I can relate to that too.

Remember the premise of this series: I am a naive friggin’ idiot. Even after all these years, I have slightly more than zero knowledge about music theory. I can not read sheet music. I can not play any instrument. The reason my music lists say “favorite songs” and not “best songs” is because I can not explain any technical reasons why one song is better than another. It is 0% objective, and 100% subjective. If you like my lists, and the playlists I have uploaded on Spotify, great. Here is the journey on how I got from there to here.

The Education of I, Omnibus : Prologue

I,Omnibus at work

I have a confession to make. This may come as a surprise to some; it may be stating the obvious to many. But I am not a smart man. I was not born very smart. I was a gullible, unintelligent boy who was raised even more gullible and unintelligent by late 70s/early and mid 80s television. Stupidity runs in my DNA. 

The Top Ten Coopers

“Dressed up like a million dollar trooper,
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper”

Irving Berlin, “Puttin’ On the Ritz”

Too long to be a tweet, so I expanded it to a full-blown Top Ten list. Why Coopers? Why not?

WDW for the Single Guy: an experiment, Part 32 – The Finale

[DISCLAIMER: The following was originally written by Jerry Skids back in 2009 – all by memory without internet access to fact check. He is a big Disney fan. He has his own WDW-themed podcast, which you can find here, or here. This is 100% Jerry’s words, completely unedited, out of respect to Jerry. Exception – I removed some 2009 pop culture references.  If you are confused by any of the acronyms, check out the previous posts. My comments are listed in [ ] – anything in ( ) are all Jerry’s words. I have not fact-checked all of this information – some, but not all. Obviously some things have definitely changed since 2009, especially prices, and should be used for comparative purposes only. However, that does not invalidate his suggestions one iota. This is still useful, and I think this is so amazing, that I want to share his knowledge and wisdom. Thank you Jerry! Posted with his permission. – Editor]

 

WDW for the Single Guy: an experiment

Part 32: Jerry Skids’ Final Thoughts

  Now it’s time to say Goodbye to all our company… You should have all the tools to start your first trip with SOME knowledge. Once the website is up (or the book is out) [the podcast is uploaded], it will be thoroughly revised with a fair bit of language to keep people laughing. But I have a few things to share before we part ways. 

WDW for the Single Guy: an experiment, Part 31 (Extinct WDW pt IV)

[DISCLAIMER: The following was originally written by Jerry Skids back in 2009 – all by memory without internet access to fact check. He is a big Disney fan. He has his own WDW-themed podcast, which you can find here, or here. This is 100% Jerry’s words, completely unedited, out of respect to Jerry. Exception – I removed some 2009 pop culture references.  If you are confused by any of the acronyms, check out the previous posts. My comments are listed in [ ] – anything in ( ) are all Jerry’s words. I have not fact-checked all of this information – some, but not all. Obviously some things have definitely changed since 2009, especially prices, and should be used for comparative purposes only. However, that does not invalidate his suggestions one iota. This is still useful, and I think this is so amazing, that I want to share his knowledge and wisdom. Thank you Jerry! Posted with his permission. – Editor]

WDW for the Single Guy: an experiment

Part 31: Extinct Walt Disney World (IV)

 

ANIMAL KINGDOM <– Extinct

Boats (attraction) – There were boats that took you around the park. They were boring and the lines took too long.

Journey Into The Jungle Book (attraction) – A stage show based on the film [animated, of course. The live-action wasn’t made yet.] Only lasted a year. Then it closed and made room for Tarzan Rocks!

Tarzan Rocks! (attraction) – Started in 1999, this stage show consisted of a live band on stage (with guitarists and such) playing the songs from the film (by Phil Collins), and featured in-line skating Tarzan, gymnast Jane, and a bunch of singers, dancers, aerialists, and other [stuntmen + stuntwomen] telling the story of Tarzan. It closed in 2006 to eventually make room for Finding Nemo: The Musical in 2007-2008.

Pocahontas And The Forest Friends (attraction) – This show featured a 17 minute version of the Pocahontas story (Disney-style) w/ live animals. The trained animals were the only good thing about the show…even better, there were two 17 minute animal training shows early in the morning explaining how they got the animals to do all these cool things. The show closed in 2008 –