“I’m a cold Italian pizza,
I could use a lemon squeezer”
The Rolling Stones – “Monkey Man”
(I want to thank my good friend, Mike, for the quote suggestion. He introduced me to a lot of classic blues and rock, and I would like to thank him for that.)
Who’s up for a pizza?* All right, put your hands down. Now, what toppings would you like? That’s the tricky part, isn’t it?
Full disclosure, I am using the term “pizza” very loosely. As a NYC snob, I personally do not consider what they sell at Dominos, Pizza Hut, Papa John’s, Cici’s (especially Cici’s), everything from the frozen food aisle of the supermarket, and whatever that Frankenfood from Chicago is, pizza. The fact that this food is popular, despite my opinion that 95% of the population hasn’t has anything close to real pizza, staggers my mind.
Besides being culinary connoisseurs, Keith and I also used to work at a Papa John’s. Like I said, not that it’s real pizza, but we do know how to make one; and equally important, how to properly top a pizza. If a pizza is improperly topped, it doesn’t matter how good the dough, crust, sauce, and well done the pie was made, the pizza is ruined.
As far as our lists are concerned, it doesn’t matter if you have one topping, or multiple toppings, these are your best bets. But please, as a pro tip, do not order more than 5 toppings on a pie.
So before our pizza gets cold, here are our lists.
The Top Ten Pizza Toppings
- 10. Green + red peppers
- 9. Broccoli
- 8. Beef (meatballs)
- 7. Steak
- 6. Chicken (grilled, breaded, buffalo, bbq)
- 5. Pork (bacon, ham)
- 4. Pepperoni
- 3. Pineapples
- 2. Cheeses (all types)
- 1. Sausages (regular, smoked, italian)
Honorable Mentions: onions; black olives; tomatoes; salami
- 10. Pineapples
- 9. Green peppers
- 8. Onions
- 7. Ham
- 6. Parmesan cheese
- 5. Breaded chicken
- 4. Sausage
- 3. Garlic (powder)
- 2. Pepperoni
- 1. Bacon
Honorable Mentions: beef; buffalo chicken; extra cheese; Italian sausage; jalepeños; mushrooms; red pepper flakes; spinach
Next Podcast Unlimited List: Top Ten buddy detective duos
*Not that I’m buying, of course.