The Top Ten Christmas Songs of all time

“Okay, Jesus. Here’s one you might remember:
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Just like that river twistin’ through the dusty land.”
“Uh. Santa, Santa, Santa, that’s not a Christmas song, bud. Ah… that’s-”
“I know, but there’s, like, three-hundred Jesus Christmas songs and only four fucking Santa ones! It’s not fair! Just do it yourself! I’m leaving.”

Santa and Jesus – “Mr Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

A Christmas song is one that you hear every year during the 5 week stretch between the Friday before(!) Thanksgiving, and Christmas Day. I suppose one reason the season starts earlier and earlier every year is because there are so many songs to play. Every musician, artist, and celebrity has to release their own album of holiday cover songs. (Not to mention Adam Sandler’s annual updated version of his own Hanukkah Song.) If we ever get any Kwanzaa or Festivus songs, the start of the holiday season might get bumped up to right after All Saint’s Day / Día de Muertos.

The difference between a good Christmas song and a sublime Christmas song is that you have to try really hard to screw up the latter. Everyone has their own favorite version, so unless the song was written after 1946, there is no “definitive” version of a Christmas song, especially if it’s a carol.

You can air your grievances in the comment section below.Any likes of this post shall be deemed as a “miracle.”

Without any further adieu, here are some lists created by two wise men.