“Day after day, day after day, we stuck, no breath nor motion
Iron Maiden – “Rime of the Ancient Mariner”
As idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean
Water, water everywhere and all the boards did shrink
Water, water everywhere nor any drop to drink”
In the current era of Tik Tok, Autotune, and numerous online apps like Soundtrap and Autotune, anyone can create their own music without knowing anything about music theory, reading sheet music, how to play an instrument, or even how to sing on key. Of course, removing the limitations to the creative process has resulted in such creatively limited output. We are two decades removed from “Take Me Out” by Franz Ferdinand – a song with three separate hooks. Never mind having a song with a second hook; we’re lucky if we can even get a second verse.
One of the many limited characteristics of modern pop music is in length. I won’t take the low-hanging fruit and call it a blessing. We have looped back to the early days of rock and roll, where record company executives and radio disc jockeys preferred, nee demanded songs to be under 3 minutes long. I suppose that means we are two decades away for the epic raga to make a comeback.
For the past 20 years, the New York classic rock station spends the entire Thanksgiving weekend counting down the top 1,043 rock songs of all time, as voted online by the listeners. Spoiler Alert: “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin has won every year. Last year, the countdown started at 10 AM on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and ended just before 3 AM (Cyber) Monday morning. The list stops for one exception (see below) at noon on Thursday. Adjusting for commercial breaks (the industry standard is 10-12 minutes an hour), the average song length on this list is somewhere between 5:11 and 5:24. When you consider how many rock songs are between 3 – 4 minutes long, there are a whole lot of songs that put the “Long” in the Long Playing (LP) record.
There are not many songs that cross the 10-minute barrier. Some of the most beloved rock songs that you may think are ten minutes long fall quite short. The aforementioned “Stairway to Heaven” is 7:55. Queen’s magnum opus, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” is a mere 5:55. The Rolling Stone’s “Sympathy For The Devil” clocks in a 6:18. The Beatles’ “Hey Jude” goes on for 7:12. Then there are songs that almost makes it the full ten, but fall just seconds short. Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird”, which was never going to make my list, is 9:08 on the album “(Pronounced ‘Lĕh-‘nérd ‘Skin-‘nérd)”. “In The Court Of The Crimson King” by King Crimson is 9:26. Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” is only 9:41. And “Green Grass And High Tides” by the Outlaws almost reaches the threshold but stops at the 9:49 mark.
I can’t promise you that this will take more than 10 minutes to read. So here we go.
The I, Omnibus Top Ten Favorite songs over 10 minutes long (a.k.a. The 10 over 10)
Note: the length of the tracks listed are from their respective albums.
10. “2112” by Rush (20:34). The title track of the 1976 album takes up the entire first side. It tells the story of a civilization in the future (duh) that outlaws music. Styx had a similar concept with “Mr. Roboto” years later. And while the latter had more commercial success, the former is more praised on an artistic level.
9. “Do You Feel Like We Do” by Peter Frampton (14:15). This is the last track from the double live album, “Frampton Comes Alive!” The most notable part of the song is the use of the talk box. For those unaware, a talk box is a pedal that allows a musician to modify the sound of (in this case) a guitar. It directs the sound into the musician’s mouth via a plastic tube. The result makes it seem like the instrument is “talking.” A talk box has been used in many songs. One of the most notable use of the voice box is on the Aerosmith song “Sweet Emotion.”
8. “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree” by Arlo Guthrie (18:34). It’s more of a spoken word shaggy dog story than a folk rock song. However, it is the definitive song for a national holiday, and no other song can claim that. No, Mariah Carey is not the Queen of Christmas when there are hundreds of Jesus and holiday songs out there that are better. No, “Thriller” is not the definitive Halloween song because it is a song about the monster movie genre, and not about anything associated with Halloween or any creatures or rituals associated with it. No, Adam Sandler’s Thanksgiving joke song doesn’t count because that is not played on multiple radio stations at noon on Thanksgiving every year. This inspired the movie Alice’s Restaurant. And if you think an eighteen-and-a-half-minute song is too long, then you’re really going to hate the 111 minute motion picture.
7. “When The Music’s Over” by The Doors (11:00) I know what you are thinking, “Why this and not “The End”? Well, one: you are only picking “The End” only because it was in the movie Apocalypse Now and no other reason; two: if you want a Doors about a killer, “Riders On The Storm” is a better and slightly shorter song; and three: I have an anecdote about this song that still gives me the warm and fuzzies. My friend and I once saw a Doors cover band in the East Village. During the middle of this song, there is an extended pause as the song slows down before it builds back up to a crescendo. But before the singer can recite the line, “We want the world and we want it now,” an audience member shouted, “We want the WEED and we want it now!” That prompted the entire crowd to laugh and the vocalist remarked that we wanted what that guy was having. Songs by The Doors are either really long and really short, and of the two that are over 10 minutes long, this is the better overall song.
6. “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” by Creedence Clearwater Revival” (11:05). It is not the original version, and it not the definitive version either. That belongs to Marvin Gaye. No one will ever compare John Fogarty’s vocals to Marvin Gaye, Smokey Robinson, or even Gladys Knight, but what this version has over the others is the percussions. The other versions have the Motown polish. This has the raw, primal, jam style that gives it more emotional feel to enhance the already powerful lyrics. When Smokey sings, the band ABC hears violins. When Fogerty sings, I hear the drums and bass pounding in my head.
5. “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” by Iron Butterfly (17:05). You were wondering when this was going to appear. You heard it, you can go home now. No, wait! Stay! You know the back story. You know most of the parodies. What else could I add that hasn’t already been written or said?
4. “Love to Love You Baby” by Donna Summer (16:49). It is strange that the go-to musical euphemism for sexual intercourse is the saxophone solo of “Careless Whisper,” when it should have always been the sensual moaning in “Love to Love You Baby.” I mean, the former is a break up song for crissakes. Sure it is an ode to 1970s excess of sex and drugs, but how many Gen-Y kids were conceived to this? I don’t care what you think about disco music, if you can’t get down to this song, you are completely frigid and/or non-sexual.
3. “Halloween” by Helloween (13:18). If you’re wondering who the heck is the band is, all you need to know is that Chris Jericho would not be half the pro wrestler and rock singer he is today without their influence. If one genre embodies All Hallows’ Eve, it is heavy metal. Want proof, see one Ozzy Osbourne. So, give me a metal song that I can play every October, and any of the other eleven months of the calendar. This band is seriously underrated, even among metal fans. And if you don’t believe me, I’ll have Chris Jericho deliver a Judas elbow to your face.
2. “Achilles Last Stand” by Led Zeppelin (10:26). An I, Omnibus music list with a Led Zeppelin song? Color me shocked? This was written and recorded by one of the greatest bands of all time in their peak. Of course, this is amazing. Because of its length and perhaps it was recorded later in their discography (Presence is LZ’s 7th studio album), this is overlooked. I almost picked “Carouselambra” because it represents what could have been had John Bonham stayed alive and the band continued into the 1980s. If “Kashmir” was 19 seconds longer, that would take this spot. Artistically speaking, this could be four musical geniuses at their most creative and performing at their very best. I admit it took many listens before this song won me over. Therefore, I implore you to give it another listen and please try to appreciate it more than I initially had.
1. “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” by Iron Maiden (13:45). Based on the Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem from 1798. This song teaches us quite a few things. If an old mariner has a story to tell, you better stop and listen to what he has to say. Always stay hydrated and try to have a supply of drinking water handy at all times. And of course, be nice to all of the animals in the land, sea, and air – especially the albatross.
Honorable Mentions: “Voodoo Chile” by Jimi Hendrix; “The End” by The Doors; “Dogs” and “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” by Pink Floyd; “Suite Sister Mary” by Queensryche; “Carouselambra” by Led Zeppelin; I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) by Meat Loaf.
I, Omnibus 