Disney · Omnibus · Trivia

WDW for the Single Guy: an experiment, Part 18 (Animal Kingdom, pt i)

Disney's Animal Kingdom

[DISCLAIMER: The following was originally written by Jerry Skids back in 2009. He is a big Disney fan. He has his own WDW-themed podcast, which you can find here, or here. This is 100% Jerry’s words, completely unedited, out of respect to Jerry. If you are confused by any of the acronyms, check out the previous posts. My comments are listed in [ ] – anything in ( ) or { } are all Jerry’s words. I have not fact-checked any of this information. Obviously some things have definitely changed since 2009, e.g.: prices, and should be used for comparative purposes only, as many attractions have come and gone since the time this was written. However, that does not invalidate his suggestions one iota. This is still useful, and I think this is so amazing, that I want to share his knowledge and wisdom. Thank you Jerry! Posted with his permission. – Editor]

WDW For The Single Guy: an experiment, part 18

Animal Kingdom, pt I

So WDW went through a lot of changes in 1998-1999. Many [be]loved attractions had closed as well as a whole bunch of new amazing attractions (such as Tower of Terror& Rock n Roller Coaster) opened. But the biggest change was the addition of Disney’s newest park, Disney’s Animal Kingdom (DAK). About FIVE TIMES the size of Magic Kingdom, DAK combines zoological exhibits with rides, shows, and of course, live entertainment. Broken up into 7 different areas, the park was marketed as the “environmentally friendly park” — with this theme in mind, DAK opened April 22nd, 1998 – Earth Day. Animal Kingdom is so incredibly different from the other parks in Florida with its exotic settings and stunningly beautiful scenery. It is populated with over 1,000 animals, replicas of Africa’s and Asia’s most intriguing architecture, and a diverse array of original attractions. Even though its size is enormous, it does have a minimal number of attractions, being it is the newest park. — By the way, many were angry that they built this new park [because they argued that] MGM needed much more work and more attractions.   

But the evolution of DAK has been interesting. And it all starts with Busch Gardens in Tampa. You see, Busch Gardens has been known for its exceptional zoological exhibits and crazy amount of thrill rides comparable to Six Flags. The Walt Disney Company has always been into audio-animatronic animals, as in the Jungle Cruise, rather than real animals which are unpredictable. Also, Disney’s arm had to be twisted for decades to put a real thrill ride in the park since each adventure is supposed to be able to be enjoyed by every family member.

College students would flock to Busch Gardens from their WDW resort on Spring Break just to experience these thrill rides and animals, so, of course Animal Kingdom was created with natural habitat zoological exhibits and state-of-the-art thrill rides. But here, it’s better! Not just a safari, but an entire African veldt setting with no enclosures at all and no visible barriers between you and the animals (at least in the “safari”).

Main complaints: Not enough to do; just a zoo; too much walking; no lids for cups; no straws; too scary; no fireworks; park closes too early; lack of shade; congested walkways; not enough food. Let me run through the list here: After 10 years, not enough attractions have been added to the park, which we’ll soon see, which makes this a “one day park”… however since the park normally closes between 5 PM + 6 PM, you have to come back for an hour or two to finish up. People keep saying, “It’s just a zoo,” and it’s not. There are “many” attractions here and two walking trails for animals. There is a ridiculous amount of walking in all 4 parks – live with it. Because it is dangerous for the animals, and because the park is environmentally conscious  – straws and lids are banned from cups. And the napkins are made from recycled paper. From what I hear though, they have created cardboard straws or something. Yes, I agree when they say there are no attractions for kids here. Every attraction adds some sort of fear factor to it and won’t just be a ride: scary monsters popping out, dinosaurs trying to eat you, bugs crawling on you, birds swooping towards you, long drops down waterfalls… this is basically what you get here. There’s no fireworks show because it will scare and possibly injure the animals in the park. Shade is scarce. And they have finally put up some more restaurants… hopefully they are working on more.

Some people LOVE AK and some HATE it! The CMs here are so ridiculously knowledgeable about their attractions that you won’t want to stop asking questions. If you go in thinking it’s a zoo, you’ll be disappointed. If you think it’s a thrill park, you’ll be disappointed. If you act like a human and think it’s a Disney park, you’ll love it.

DAK is all the way in the Southwest corner of WDW and is not connected to the monorail. You can get to any resort or park by bus. The basic hours are usually 9 AM – 5 PM, but stays open until 8 PM (sometimes 9 PM) on EMH evenings. When the parks opens, the the “ceremonies” vary. Sometimes they bring you all the way into the main crossroads in Discovery Island. And sometimes they keep you by the turnstiles, but either way, stay on the right and get ready to RUN to Expedition Everest. (Remember to get there an hour early).

The weenie of the park is the huge Tree of Life, which we’ll talk about in Discovery Island. Like MGM, there are many attractions that are lengthy – there are a number of shows as well as walkthroughs that could take an hour, depending on how much you do. Before you get into the park, there’s a store and a Rainforest Café, so I’ll mention it in the first section, which is…

Animal Kingdom map



This first section, just outside the turnstiles, is a “transitional experience” that gets you into the right mood to enjoy Animal Kingdom. It differs from Main Street, Hollywood Blvd, and Epcot’s entrance plaza because instead of directing you straight into the park, The Oasis immediately puts you into an environment with choices. There are two paths you make take – one on the left and one on the right, but also multiple crossovers as well throughout. You cannot see the Tree of Life in front of you like you can see the Castle, Spaceship Earth, and the Hat/The Chinese Theatre in other parks. Instead you are immersed in a landscape with streams, grottos, waterfalls, and animals.

There are a good amount of animal exhibits in The Oasis, but honestly, if you’re trying to get to Expedition Everest, then you should wait on these exhibits and come back later. Your #1 priority is to be in front of the crowd or your day will be way too long. When you do come back, remember this: the animals here like to hide. If you’re patient and look closely, you will see all the animals. Here’s a funny tidbit: When the Imagineers were trying to figure out how to design the entrance, one of the ideas was going to be a series of animal statues marching two-by-two into an enormous re-creation of Noah’s Ark. Joe Rohde, the creative lead on most of DAK said, “Let me get this straight… the first thing that guests are going to see as they enter our theme park is this big parade of animal butts?” Eventually, they came out with The Oasis.
When To Go: On your way out if you leave before park closing. The Oasis usually closes 30-60 minutes after the rest of the park.

Live Entertainment

Wes Palm (B+) – This is one of two versions of MK’s Push at DAK. This walking palm tree will interact with everyone. He’s funny and sometimes he likes to make fun of passersby. He’s really fun, especially if you’re waiting on line – please don’t point out the guy controlling it 🙂


That Store – There’s a store that sells random Disney stuff and DAK merch. You can get maps here too. And those fans that spray water and other random stuff like sunglasses.

Restaurants and Snacks

Rainforest Café (Food:C; Service: C+; Price: whatever – you can find a Rainforest Cafe at home.) (American food and more)

This is the second Rainforest Café in WDW – the 1st one is located at Downtown Disney. This environmentally friendly restaurant and retail emporium can be found anywhere else in the USA. Why bother going here? The AK version features a huge waterfall and if you’ve never been to one, it’s designed to look like a jungle with animatronic bats, elephants, and monkeys. There is occasional thunder and rainfall throughout your dinner. The most popular dish is the Rasta Pasta with grilled chicken and walnut pesto. There’s a bunch of other dishes like crab-cake sandwiches, coconut shrimp, and slow roasted pork. The waits are usually phenomenally long. This place is honestly a waste of your time, but if you must go, then fine, but the food is not great. And the seasoning is usually a bit off. The big draw is the huge retail area (5,000 sq feet) – so visit the gift shop… but eat somewhere else.


Not to be confused with the nature preserve that closed in April, 1999 (a year after DAK opened), this Discovery Island is an island filled with tropical greenery, and interesting African architecture. The area is built like a commercial village around the landmark, The Tree Of Life. This tree is 14 stories high and has hundreds of animals carved into it. Inside, lies the 3D adventure, “It’s Tough To Be A Bug.” There is a fair amount of shopping and dining here, but there are also a large amount of animal exhibits, including: kangaroos; prairie dogs; and random fish. Don’t miss these!

It’s Tough To Be A Bug (B-) {FP} (ITTBAB)

The entrance to this attraction is just as interesting as the 3D show. Through a plethora of twists and turns, you get smaller ans smaller as you become the size of a bug. It’s a great chance to actually check out the intricacies of The Tree of Life. When you are small enough to enter, you are taken into the hollow of the tree, where you get to hear the bugs sing different show tunes. It’s quite cute. Then when you get into the show (don’t forget my tips for 3D films and theatre viewing,) you join Flik (played by Dave Foley) and his friends, who explain to you how important bugs are and why it’s a hard life… here’s the thing: they shoot things at you, spray you, try to climb on you, and even crawl all over you. If you have a fear of bugs, you’re screwed.  Oh, and if you have asthma or any lung problems, be careful. They spray you with stage smoke, which many people cannot breathe in. There is no warning of this at all. The show is funny and kinda cool, and at 7½ minutes, it’s worth it to check it out. Kevin Spacey doesn’t reprise his role because it was in his A Bug’s Life contract that he wouldn’t have to reprise his role in any Bug’s Life toys or rides. After he saw the 3D film he said, “You guys didn’t tell me it was gonna be so cool.” True story.
When To Go: After 2:30PM (sometimes earlier). The FastPass is rarely even on at all during non-peak days…that’s how dead it gets. However, since The Tree of Life is the most eye-popping structure in the park, it gets busy early on. Don’t bother with FP if it’s possible.

Live Entertainment

You can meet Flik and Princess Atta from A Bug’s Life near the Tree of Life and Stitch and Lilo by Island Mercantile. Besides that, there’s a little band that plays near the entrance to Dinoland USA – I forgot their name, but they have a song that is almost exactly ripped off from “I Love Rock N Roll” – the riff is the same. Besides that they have:
The Opening Ceremony (The Adventure Begins) which will be explained in the touring plans.


Disney Outfitters – clothing with Disney characters and AK logos.
Island Mercantile – more regular character merch.
Creature Comforts – its got toys and stuff. Really nothing special here either.

Dining and Snacks

Hey, it’s a Turkey Leg Stand (Food: B; Service: B-; Price: turkey leg price) (snack)

[Editor’s Side: I am SO going to open a place in Brooklyn called, “Hey, it’s a Turkey Leg Stand” because that name just cracks me up. Whether or not I will actually sell turkey legs is up for debate. 🙂 ]

There is a regular snack stand here. See all the other parks for info on it. Also, there’s a couple of shacks that sell those icees and pretzels and stuff. They don’t list their names anywhere, but I will update this in my next version once I can check out my notes.

Pizzafari (Food: C; Service: B; Price: not terrible) (counter service pizza and more)

This is just an okay counter service. Pizza at WDW is very rarely good (unless it’s at a place like Mama Melrose or other table service restaurants.) You can get personal pizzas here which taste just like Pizza Planet’s pizza. They also have chicken parmesan sandwiches, deli sandwiches, and other things. The coolest thing about this place is that each room is themed differently. Not ridiculously special, but it’s worth it to look around (as you’re using the restroom or something.) You can get a Safari Amber beer and feel like you’re really in Africa hunting game or just chill. They have a Kosher meal, but steer clear at all costs… remember what I said about them! The place gets crazy busy throughout the day! CRAZY BUSY!!! So expect screaming children. For some reason people like it here, but it must be people who have never eaten real pizza, and enjoy the frozen pizza at that. [I like to call those wannabes “pyzza.” Anything non-NYC pizza is pyzza. Especially those chain delivery places like Papa John’s, Dominos, or Pizza Hut. /rant] This opened with the park.

Flame Tree Barbecue (Food: A; Service: A-; Price: Pretty expensive, but worth it.) (Australian-style counter service)

So this eatery from down under serves smoked half slab ribs with baked beans, a corn on the cob, and sometimes onion rings. It’s like $9, but you get a real good portion. They also have pulled pork and beef sandwiches, and smoked chicken. All choices are good, but the ribs are great if you like that dry smoked rib-style, which is YUM[MY]! [Not to be confused with YUM! brands, which owns fast food chains KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and A&W.] If you want a decent lunch, I highly recommend this place. Sometimes me and my girl used to get a slab of ribs and the sides and eat on line for Finding Nemo (which is nearby) – but they started making us not eat on line for some reason and we ended up getting shitty seats last time, so only do it if you are waiting for an hour (which I’ll get to later) – otherwise there’s a nice little gazebo to the left of Flame Tree with tables. It’s a shaded area, so it’s nice. Only problem? Birds. Do Not Feed The Ducks or Birds or I will have them bite you. It just makes them swarm. Once, I threw some meat from my ribs all around Psycho Jen’s feet and then left to “use the restroom.” Jen is scared of birds. You should have seen her being surrounded by those giant stork-like birds, geese, and ducks. She almost cried! Awesome. Eat here.

Other Things

Animal Exhibits (“B” compared to the others) – If you stop to smell the roses, you won’t miss these. Some are kinda hidden – there are paths that one may not notice at first glance. Try not to miss them because they are pretty cool.


So this place is set up like a campground. It’s a cul-de-sac type area off the left of Discovery Island on the way to Africa. It has a really nice rustic theme, and the background music is one guy on an acoustic guitar playing amazing instrumental versions of Disney songs. This is also like a character headquarters because there is a character greeting trail here where you can meet Safari Mickey, Minnie, Chip, Dale, and more. There used to be a live show called “Pocahontas and her Forest Friends,” but it closed as of September, 2008. They also had a cool show where they explained how they trained all the animals in the Pocahontas show. Before Everest opened, my touring plans always said to come here first to avoid the huge congestion in this area, but now things have changed… unless you  have a really fast member in your party. We’ll discuss this later. But first…

Character Trails (D)

You know I’m not a fan of waiting in line for characters when there are perfectly good times to see characters in the day with no huge lines. This is one of the few places you’ll find Daisy Duck, who is an almost a rare character. If the latest Disney/Pixar or whatever film is about nature or environment, you’ll find the characters here too. But it is always Safari Mickey and Safari Minnie. Each character their own line, which is stupid. If you love characters, go ahead, but I think it’s a huge waste of time.

Festival of The Lion King (A) (FotLK)

This show is Awesome with a capital “A.” Based on The Lion King, this magnificent event is part stage show / part parade / part circus / and part sing-a-long. You sit in a section and the main performers give you roles to play. The best is the lion section. When you walk in, it’s on your far right (not your immediate right). You get to have the main guy (who loves fire) as your leader and you get to ROAR and sing the best part of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” They perform to every Lion King song. “Circle of Life” is a huge number with a parade of characters, “Hakuna Matata” has these crazy trapeze and trampoline monkeys who are blacklit – it’s awesome. Plus Timon goes nuts. “Be Prepared” (my favorite part) has the main guy as a fire juggler and fire-eater. It’s freakin’ cool as shit. “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” is a very touching number with these dancers wearing bodysuits and flying! THen everyone sings along to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” (the other sections are giraffe, warthog, and elephant). The show is extremely popular — it’s about 30 minutes long — so plan accordingly. THe show should not be missed. (Oh, it’s part pep rally too!)
When To Go: Well, if you can make the first show of the day, (after Everest), then great! But you must be able to RUN! Otherwise, choose the last show of the day. Otherwise, you have to get there 35 – 45 minutes before to get a seat. I’m gonna say it once more: Very 1st or very last show. That’s it.

Live Entertainment

Gi-Tar Dan – He’s cool. He plays sing-a-long songs at certain times. Check Steve Soares. Not the most adult performance, but it is a good time.

(There is no shopping and no restaurants here. I think they have a small ice cream shack though.)


This is the largest of all lands in DAK (mostly because of the huge savannah). The first part is modeled after real African villages, and is called Harambe, which means “come together” in Swahili. The best thing about Harambe is the simplicity! It’s built like a true African village — very unexotic and plain. Much of it is modeled after a small village in Kenya. Harambe is the gateway to the huge African veldt habitat, which was the original main attraction of DAK. It’s the only place to catch a train to Rafiki’s Planet Watch (used to be Conservation Station). With a LOT of live entertainment, shopping, and food, this is definitely one of the crowd-favorites, with much reason.

Kilimanjaro Safaris (A++) (The Safari Ride) {FP}

With over 100 acres of savannah, forest, rivers, and rocky hills, this attraction s quite an ambitious adventure. It’s about 20 – 30 minutes now – it used to be 45, but they cut a lot of the story. There used to be a whole story behind it – you were out looking for an elephant and these poachers slaughter its mom… the dead carcass laid realistically in the middle of the road… then you had to save the baby elephant from said poachers. That’s mostly gone. You take a truck ride (no track, just dirt) through a simulated African habitat. You get to see a huge array of animals such as: zebras; lions; cheetahs; ostriches; Thompson’s gazelles; elephants; warthogs; rhinos; and hippos among others free-roaming through the area. It is so much fun and it’s different every time. The 32-seated truck is always full and is navigated by a trained guide – always from the continent of Africa. These guides are extraordinarily knowledgeable of the animals – and some go off the script to talk about some of the lesser known ones. The sub-Saharan African landscapes are re-created nearly identical and so amazing. If it rains, more animals come out – in fact, we’ve had a giraffe cross right in front of our truck, and ostriches and gazelles walk right next to us in the rain. This is not only a must-see, it’s the reason you came to DAK. [emphasis mine – Ed.]
When To Go: Since Everest showed up, the best course of action is to get a FP the second you can and use it as early as possible, OR go to the safari on the standby line as soon as you finish Everest. There are more animals out the earlier you go. I promise you this. It’s cooler, so the animals don’t need as much shade.

Pangani Forest Exploration Trail (B+) (African Trail)

This walk through “exhibit” is pretty cool. The trail starts right where the safari ends. Guests usually do the Pangani trail right after the Safari, but you don’t have to. This one has hippos (with an underwater viewing area), naked mole rats (like Rufus from “Kim Possible,” but real, not animated), meerkats, and the big pull here, the gorillas! The trail ends with a huge exotic bird aviary ( you can’t tell it’s enclosed at all!) Be careful what you do on this trail. In Rafiki’s Planet Watch, there are cameras that guests can use to view the animals by zooming in up close. You can move the cameras 360° and that means guests can easily spy in other guests. So don’t scratch your balls or pick your nose, cus other people will see, and that’s embarrassing. It gets fairly busy here mid-day cus of the safari, so I suggest you come here early as hell, or late as hell. Oh, and one thing about the gorillas. A CM (zookeeper) hand-fed this gorilla grapes and the gorilla thought his finger was part of the grapes. Guess what? The CM has no finger now cus it was digested by the gorilla. So please keep your hands and arms outside the freakin’ cage! [Did I mention that Jerry wrote this seven years before the incident involving Harambe the gorilla from the Cincinnati Zoo? -Ed] This is a very cool trail, but there is one that’s better. Regardless, you have to see this, even if you must breeze through. By the way, the CMs know so much about the animals, you could talk to them all day and learn new things every second of it. Plus they are so excited about it that your interest can only ask for more. Don’t be afraid to ask.
When To Go: Either right after the Safari in the AM, get a FP for Safari; see the trail, then ride the Safari; or go after 3 PM when it dies down. The 1st two choices are the best.

Live Entertainment

They have African names, so I don’t remember, but there’s an African band that really rocks out cool tunes and tries to get the guests involved (B+); a guy who is AWESOME at the drums (congas and more) (B+); and these CRAZY acrobats who make cool shapes with their bodies, limbo lower than you’ve ever seen, do crazy jump rope tricks, and do insane dances that defy gravity. Also, they have audience participation as well. (A+) Finally, there is…
DeVine (A-) – No! Not the dud/chick from all the John Waters movies. This chick is a stilt walker decked out in foliage and vines. She blends in with the flora so well that many times, you don’t even notice that she’s there! She wanders Animal Kingdom throughout the day and she’s hot! Just watch out, you might not realize she’s right in front of you! Most of the time you can find her on the path from Africa to Asia near the Wildlife Express.


Mombasa Marketplace + Ziwani Traders – these two connecting stores sell African-themed pottery, instruments, knickknacks, South African wines, housewares, and plush. Plus of course, DAK merch. They also have a good CD collection of African music, and books on animals + culture in Africa. You can also meet Baloo and King Louie here.

Restaurants and Snacks

Fruit Stand (Food: A; Service: A; Price: reasonable) (fruits + snacks)

They sell all kinds of fruit here! The healthiest place to get a nice snack. They also have a few other things, but their selection is definitely good.

Tamu Tamu (Food: B; Service: B; Price: Kind of expensive for what it is) (snacks)

They serve yogurt here; ice cream too. A good place for cones, floats, sundaes, cups, smoothies, and also sometimes they add sandwiches with multi-grain buns. It’s okay, but there is better food out there. The good thing is that there’s seating behind the place that people don’t know about, so it’s a nice quiet place to chill if you need some peace and quiet.

Dawa Bar: (Drink: A; Service: A; Price: does it matter?) (alcohol)

Get all your alcohol here. It’s right behind that group of acrobats and it has a nice area to sit (shaded and all). Not much to say, but drink up!

Tusker House Restaurant (Food: D; Service: B-; Food: good price) (comfort food/American buffet)

So, for breakfast, they have a character breakfast here. When it used to be counter service, the breakfast was great. They had french toast and danishes and cinnamon buns. Now, it’s a regular character breakfast buffet with cheaply made food. It [was] $19 for breakfast, $20 for lunch, and $27 for dinner. Lunch and dinner have roasted meats, rotisserie chicken, and salmon… But I would choose the only other table service meal in the parks if I wanted a sit-down meal, not this one. There’s no African feel here and always gets fair-poor reviews. Sorry.


This place opened up in 2001 as Conservation Station, but now has been changed. Conservation Station is what they call this big building you see when you get there. It’s a really cool area that gets a bad rap – but I think it’s something important to see. If you don’t care about animals or the environment, then I guess it won’t be important to you. But here you’ll get a backstage look at the park’s veterinary HQ and center for conservation programs. Plus more.

Wildlife Express Train (C)

This is the transportation from Africa to Rafiki’s Planet Watch and back. It’s the only way to get to and from the area, making this the Tom Sawyer’s Island of DAK. You get to see a few things, like the African Wildlife reserve, but nothing else interesting.
When To Go: The best time to go to Planet Watch is really early in the morning because by 12 – 1 PM, they have stopped doing procedures at the vet. However, there are important things to do in the AM, so I suggest you make a special morning day if you are really interested.

Habitat Habit! (C)

This is honestly just the path from Wildlife Express to Conservation Station. It’s listed on the map as an attraction, however it’s just a bunch of signs and a couple of small exhibits with CM experts talking about species of monkeys and such (tamarins).

Affection Section (“F” for regular people; “C” for the animal obsessed; “A” for kids)

It’s a freakin’ petting zoo. All they have are goats and llamas. OOH. Fuck Affection Section.

Conservation Station (B-)

So this is the veterinary headquarters as well as the conservation headquarters of DAK. This is a backstage working facility. Some stuff you can do include: watch some videos; “talk” to famous experts via “video phones” (shh, it’s fake); talk to real experts who work at the park; watch exhibits about really interesting mammals, insects, reptiles, and amphibians; crawl into a scary cockroach den; feel like you are in the rainforest in a soundproof dark room; meet Pocahontas, Jiminy Cricket, Stanley, Meeko, and other environmental characters (Wall-E?); watch an actual surgery on an animal or even a physical exam and ask questions throughout; look at the rehab area for injured animals; look at the nursery for newborn animals; and check out the special cameras that show the animals on the Pangani Trail – or people watch. Sometimes you can see some hot chicks! 🙂 It makes you feel like DHARMA from “Lost.” Oh and there’s a strange mermaid puppet show. Once I saw the vets do a surgery on a snake – removing a golf ball from its throat – it was awesome! The only bad thing is having to wait on line twice to get to and from here by the Wildlife Express Train. As I said earlier, try to schedule a time either in mid-day – but you’ll miss out on any veterinary activity, or a special morning for Safari and Rafiki’s Planet Watch. I like this,  but if you don’t have an open mind, you might find it somewhat dull.

Live Entertainment

Sometimes, Gi-Tar Dan shows up here too.


There’s a store here that sells regular Disney merch – LOTS of animal plus, and many books, videos, and interesting things about conservation.

Restaurants and Snacks

Nope, just an ice cream cart that also sells hot dogs, but you can’t bring ANY food or drink into COnservation Station, so it’s fucking pointless. And they don’t tell you this when they sell you the goddamn food, those dicks! But I always go in anyway. If they tell me to leave, I just argue and they go to get their manager. But I’m done before the manager gets there!!

[to be continued…]


One thought on “WDW for the Single Guy: an experiment, Part 18 (Animal Kingdom, pt i)

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