WDW for the Single Guy: an experiment, Part 13 (Disney’s Hollywood Studios, pt I)

[DISCLAIMER: The following was originally written by Jerry Skids back in 2009. He is a big Disney fan. He has his own WDW-themed podcast, which you can find here, or here. This is 100% Jerry’s words, completely unedited, out of respect to Jerry. If you are confused by any of the acronyms, check out the previous posts. My comments are listed in [ ] – anything in ( ) are all Jerry’s words. I have not fact-checked any of this information. Obviously some things have definitely changed since 2009, and should be used for comparative purposes only, as many attractions have come and gone since the time this was written. However, that does not invalidate his suggestions one iota. This is still useful, and I think this is so amazing, that I want to share his knowledge and wisdom. Thank you Jerry! Posted with his permission. – Editor]

WDW For The Single Guy: an experiment

Disney’s Hollywood Studios – part 1 (it’s still MGM to us)

(I will only call it MGM, sorry.)

Park hours are normally 9AM – 7:30/8PM.

Opened in 1989 and shaped to form the world’s largest hidden Mickey, this place is broken up onto themed areas which meld into each other. When you walk in, the first circle focuses on the past, present, and future of the motion picture and television industries. They recreate Hollywood’s Golden Age through the main streets of Hollywood Blvd + Sunset Blvd, as well as other more modern areas of Echo Lake. The second circle WAS a working motion-picture and TV production facility encompassing three sound stages, back lots, sets, and their animation studios. Unfortunately, as of 1998-1999, Walt Disney Productions shut down the hand drawn animation studio, leaving a pointless empty building. [Disney’s digital animation studios, however, have hit a Golden Age in the 2010’s, thanks to Frozen, Wreck-It Ralph, Tangled, Big Hero 6, and Zootopia].

The major story about this park is that it was part of a very vicious corporate rivalry. You’ll love this. Universal, Disneyland’s rival, announced they were going to build an Orlando clone of their very popular Universal Studios Hollywood Park. They hired these real estates dudes (the Bass brothers) to invest in their project. But Eisner stole the Bass Brothers from Universal and announced that Disney would be creating a movie-themed park of their own. The two companies raced to finish construction. See, Universal was trying to develop new technologies which Disney already had, so in 1989 (two years before Universal opened in Florida) the Disney MGM Studios was finally created.

Wait did I say Disney-MGM Studios?

Yes I did. Disney had a contract with MGM due to the films and memorabilia shown in the Great Movie Ride. But after purchasing Pixar Animation Studios and partnering on so many films, the cost of the MGM name became too much with too little payoff. Plus, in the turn of the new century [millennium], they believed Pixar was way more popular than MGM. (I disagree.) [I’m with Jerry – mainly because Disney had not bought Pixar yet, and was still independent of their influence.] They thought replacing MGM with Pixar for a while, but after Eisner was ousted in 2004-2005, Disney got ready to finally change the name to Disney’s Hollywood Studios… in 2007. However, fans still call it MGM or simply “The Studios.” And that’s the history of the Studios.

But wait! There’s more! There is a huge confusion about what the center of attention is at the studios. Walt called it a “Weenie” – the thing that sticks out in your mind and represents an attraction, shop, or park. MK has Cinderella Castle, Epcot has Spaceship Earth, but what about The Studios? Well, originally it was the Earful Tower. A big water tower in the backlot area. The thing is, you can see it from the Backlot Tour, or outside of the park. But for years, it was the representation of MGM. [Wait, a water tower representing a major movie studio? And you’re supposed to think MGM? I know Yakko, Wakko, Dot, and the WB will disagree.] It was on postcards, shirts, pins, stickers, scrapbooks, etc. Throughout its life, the Mann’s Chinese Theatre (or the Los Angeles government) was trying to sue Disney for using its image in the postcards and such, since it is the first thing you see as you enter. (The Great Movie Ride is built to look like the Chinese Theatre). What does one have to do with the other? Finally, to relieve hassle, in 2001, MGM built an ugly blue sorcerer’s hat right in the middle of the road. They said it was for Walt’s 100 Years of Magic, but it was really to remove the hassle of all the pictures being taken in front of what looks like that fuckin’ Chinese theatre! So NOW, to add to it, they changed the park’s log  from the Earful Tower to the fucking giant Hat! Doesn’t that suck?

As you can tell, Disney historians and traditionalists hate the treatment of this park the most. It has been gutted, changed, reversed, and shaken up to be a completely different theme park than originally intended. In fact, so much was removed, that I only suggest 1 – 1½ days here to do everything you want. Also, the Studios is not connected by monorail, but you can take a bus or boat depending on where you’re coming from. Again, show up an hour early and head towards the turnstiles in the morning. You will be better off going to the leftmost side. When you’re corralled at the intersection of Hollywood + Sunset, get ready to turn right. I’ll explain in the touring tips. Evening EMH is unbearable – don’t bother unless you just want to suck in the studios. The big thrill rides here are at the end of Sunset (Tower of Terror + Rock N Rollercoaster). There are many shows here and longer attractions, so the only reason you may need more than a day is if you can’t get all the shows to line up properly in your schedule. But let’s start!!

Hollywood Blvd

This palm-lined recreation of Hollywood’s main drag is streamlined with Art Deco embellishments based on the 30’s and 40’s. You can find collectibles (one of a kind) obtained from studio auctions and estate sales. A walk of stars is also part of the scenery as you approach the Chinese Theatre at the end of the road, with real celebrity handprints (and sometimes footprints OR nose prints!) Like Main Street, USA in MK, this is the main road.

The Great Movie Ride (B-) (A for huge film historians and lovers [cinephiles])

An elaborate indoor adventure ride through the movies. With your tour guide, you will ride through sound stage sets from many classics including: Casablanca; The Wizard of Oz; Raiders of the Lost Ark; Alien; Tarzan; Fantasia; Singing in the Rain; and many, many more! Life-sized audio animatronics line your way through many different genres. Be prepared to see greats such as:John Wayne; James Cagney; Gene Kelley; and Sigourney Weaver taking you through this quite interesting attraction. You may even get hijacked by a gangster or a cowboy depending on what car you are on! One big problem: this attraction is in dire need of renovation. It has not been touched since it opened with the park in 1989 and breaks down a lot, and references no new films (which they should WITH the old ones). Also, it sometimes looks a bit too run down. With a nice update, this would be an “A” or “A-“. Be prepared for a short compilation film at the end of the attraction. It’s really cool to see clips from some great films  (and some not-so-great-ones) to the wonderful scores. If you sit up front, you will get to interact with a usually funny cast member (not the tour guide). And watch out for Aliens!!! (20 minutes)
When To Go: It’s best to go during the first hour when there are no lines, but definitely before 11AM. Bring a chick if she loves movies.
P.S.: The pre-show contains very old trailers for classic films.

Shopping

Sid Cahuenga’s One-of-a-Kind – in a run-down “California Mission style house”, this shop is based on junk shops in SoCal. Here, you can find autographed photos of film and TV stars, old movie posters, and real costumes worn by celebrities in various films. Bring a credit card, ’cause the stuff here ain’t cheap!
Crossroads of the World – the first shop you see when you come in. Just Kodak stuff and maps, etc.
The Darkroom – You can develop film, get cameras, print digital photos, and get other accessories.
Celebrity 5 +10 (5 + Dime) – you can get Disney/DHS souvenirs here (e.g.: T-shirts).
L.A. Prop Cinema Storage – just kids’ clothing, PJs, toys, and plush – boring shop.
Adrian + Edith’s Head to Toe – This is the embroidery shop where you can get any Disney item embroidered with a name, phrase, or even character! The item must have been purchased on WDW property and be completely unworn. But it’s still a cool little station.
Mickey’s of Hollywood – No it’s not what you think! Making fun of Frederick’s of Hollywood, that famous sexy lingerie store, this store actually just sells logoed watches, shirts, hats, and sunglasses. Plush too.
Keystone Clothiers – adult Disney clothes and such. Some stuff you can’t find anywhere else.
The Sorcerer’s Hat – in the big ugly hat, you can get pins…that’s it.

Entertainment + Others

High School Musical 3: School’s Out? Senior Year?: Live (C-, B if you’re a fan of the series)
This live action entertainment is hit-or-miss. First of all, it used to be in Magic Kingdom…in TOMORROWLAND! That made no sense, and people complained. So now it’s in back of the Sorcerer’s Hat. It’s like a huge pep rally that random cheerleaders and “football stars” from East Side High cheer, “GO WILDCATS!” and sing and dance. They have songs from all 3 movies – not telling a story in any way, but creating a mildly entertaining near-party. They throw balloons and have you dunk baskets and have as little actual dialogue as possible. Note: The cheerleaders do NOT represent any characters from the films or even mention them. And it’s NOT a “New Class” situation. [Ed’s note: in 2016, Disney announced plans for a 4th HSM movie, so even if this attraction is no longer there now, it may return in a revamped format soon.] It’s just a pep rally where they teach you that it’s okay to be yourself. Adults will spend more time wondering what the school’s feeding these kids to eliminate all traces of teen angst and raging hormones (unlike the actual films). [Answer: the same thing Japan was feeding those anime teen robot pilots pre-1995, i.e.: the advent of Neon Genesis Evangelion.]

Streetmosphere (A)
Film star lookalikes, jugglers, roving performers, wannabe actors, asshole directors, ex-stars who are trying to get back into the business… these characters have arcs that last from the day the studios opened until they retire. For instance: there was one guy who was a terrible actor and he was trying to constantly trying to fuck this chick who was a Hollywood star so he could be famous, but she didn’t want anything to do with him. After a big director put him in a film (which got panned) he didn’t want anything to do with the girl who had finally come around to loving him. Eventually, he got kicked out of the Screen Actors Guild for doing an independent film [wait, he didn’t use a pseudonym? Dummy! Serves him right!], and he left the Studios. This arc was told little and little each and every day. [Sounds like an episode of HBO’s Entourage if you ask me.] The individual actors improv their characters from beginning to end with no guidance from Disney. (As long as it’s clean). These are one of the greatest things about MGM. Also, they put on shows that involve the guests throughout the day.

Dining + Snacks

The Hollywood Brown Derby (Food: A; Service: A++; Price: Ridiculously expensive! (Grapefruit cake is outstanding!) Romance Alert!) {American Gourmet} A replica of the original Brown Derby restaurant  in California, with duplicates of celebrity caricatures that cover paneled walls. Bob Cobb, the original restaurant’s manager, was the creator of the Cobb salad, which is prominently recommended here. The place looks like a beautiful upper class Hollywood 30’s restaurant, with romantic shaded candles, tables draped with white linen, and tall palm trees in huge pots at the center of the room. The thing is, all the theme park restaurants are casual dress, so it makes it seem cheaper even though the waiters are in nice white jackets. Besides the Cobb salad, a lot of people fawn over the pan-fried grouper, but I personally like th Thai noodle bowl with coconut crusted tofu (I normally hate tofu, but it’s good). They also have a grapefruit cake for dessert. The food is insanely expensive and you have to use two table service meals on the dining. The food is good, but honestly, I wouldn’t go here on my first visit. There are other restaurants that don’t kill your wallet too much.

Starring Rolls (Food: A; Service: B-; Price: reasonable) {bakery food}
Here’s where you can grab your croissants and such. Looks like your typical Culver City bakery, selling deli sandwiches, salad, pastries, deserts, chocolates, and coffee. Service is slow.

Sunset Blvd

Focusing on the 1940’s, this street was added to the Disney-MGM Studios in the 90’s. Since then, it has become the most popular area of the park. The two major thrill rides are located at the end and the extremely popular “firework light water magic show” is located here as well. Even the restrooms are themed (which they are usually are, but here it’s very well). You can’t walk down this street without feeling like an out-of-work actor looking for a job! 🙂

Beauty and the Beast – Live on Stage (B+) (A+ if you really like Beauty, OR if the pre-show was still there)

BATB Live opened a year before the Broadway show opened in NYC. This is the test-run and has outlasted the Broadway show so far. Opened in 1993 at the Theatre of the Stars (TotS), the show combines normal characters  (fur characters) of Beast, Mrs Potts, Lumière, Cogsworth, etc., and real singers and dancers of Belle, Gaston, and other ensemble cast into a live Hollywood-style musical in an upbeat and humorous way. It’s a retelling of the 1991 1992 Best Picture winner [Nominee] [- it won awards for Best Original Score and Best Original Song] and is actually quite good – although its 25-minute run time does not do it any justice. The theatre itself is open-air and has no blind spots, which is good for you! The good thing is the show is protected by a canopy on rainy days, plus the summer sun is a killer. Some of the songs are out-of-order and shortened to move the story quicker and does not even hold a candle to the Broadway musical (which was phenomenal!) [pun intended] BUT there is a part when a bad guy is hitting Mrs Potts with an axe and it is so funny that you might piss your pants!! Check out the times in your guide or on Steve Soares’ site. There used to be a pre-show where this a capella band of roadies comes out of nowhere and performs. It was hilarious because it’s completely unexpected. They were called “Four For a Dollar”, but they have gone to become real stars and will probably fail. Oh well. It was awesome.
When To Go: Don’t even bother with the first two performances. The best time to go is around 5PM – 6PM, after dinner, and before Fantasmic!
P.S. It’s a great place to bring a chick. She’ll love it.

The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (A++) {FP} (ToT)

This attraction has a very interesting history. Originally, it was supposed to be its own resort. It would have been the first MGM Resort Hotel. It had been called the Hollywood Tower Hotel, and would feature an attraction hosted by a Rod Serling lookalike. It would have been a “freight elevator ride to Hell” basically. Disney thought people would not want to stay in a purposefully decrepid haunted hotel (I disagree) [so do I. How else does Motel 6 stay in business?] based on the Twilight Zone series… so it was scrapped. Later, they had an idea to have an attraction at MGM where “Mel Brooks chases you in and out of elevators.” Yeah– so that was scrapped. Eventually, they put the two ideas together and created Twilight Zone Tower of Terror™, a sci-fi indoor thrill ride. The exterior is shaped like an old worn-out and abandoned hotel. The area music is a bunch if creepy old 40’s songs and the queue line wraps around the old hotel’s garden, fountain, and gates into the lobby, which has a HUGE number of references to said series (e.g.: a pair of cracked reading glasses sitting on a pile of books; the paperwork for facial reconstruction of a hideous woman tacked up to a bulletin board). Then the very “assholy” Cast Members who obviously know something’s up, shove you into a library where you are greeted on a tiny black and white television by Rod Serling – who show you a brief synopsis of the back story of the attraction and introduces the plot. You are taken into an old service elevator, and lots of eerie stuff happens . Eventually when you get to the 13th floor, the elevator begins to move forward through what looks like empty space. Seriously! You look like you are floating. Then it becomes pitch black and silent. Randomly at any interval between 5 and 30 seconds, you are dropped in a traditional free-fall style. History Lesson – When ToT opened in 1999, there was only one drop. A 13-story plunge. Eventually it was changed to 2 drops. A 13-story plunge, then it would catch at the last second, and there would be another plunge. Then in 2001, they changed it to many drops. It would drop, catch, try to be pulled up, suspend you in air, then drop again. (while you were suspended in air, a window would open, revealing all of MGM Studios for just a few seconds before it opened all the way.) Now it’s completely random, and sometimes have trick endings – you can have anywhere from 4-10 drops!!! (at different lengths each), and every once in a while you are tricked into thinking the ride is over, but the family who got hit by lightning (I’ll explain in a minute) shows up and scares you, the elevator rises to the 13th floor again, and you plunge! The whole thing is run by a randomizer computer that changes every single ride. Also, they used to have bars, except the lone “suicide seat” that only had a seat belt. In 2005, they changed it so that all seats have seat belts and bars (except the ex-suicide seat), which stinks. Here’s the story: A family is coming to the Hollywood Tower Hotel in the 1940’s and when they got there, it begins to thunder-storm. The daughter is a famous child actress and they don’t want to be seen by other guests at the hotel, so they are told to take the service elevator [if this is the 40’s, then it doubles as the “colored people’s” elevator 😦 ] with the bell boy up to the 13th floor. But when they reach the 13th floor, the hotel is struck by lightning, the cable snaps on the elevator and plummets to the ground with the five innocents. The hotel is closed for a while, but never re-opened. Years later, a family (you) hears about a hotel and goes to check it out. Even though the whole thing is run-down, the place is fully functional. [sounds like a 90’s point-and-click PC game to me.] Although, the staff and the bellhop especially, are quite odd. [Now it sounds like a Wes Anderson film]. The rest in all in the cards. It’s a great attraction, with amazing effects, is wonderfully themed, and has so much richness and subtleness, that the ride is fresh [even] after many repeat viewings. The visual and audio effects are extraordinary. For the best ride, ask the bellhop for a front seat. (Row 1 is loaded last, so you should wait for the next elevator if necessary). As the elevator stops on each floor, [be] prepared to see some freaky shit. (Also, if you are in the back of Row 1, you will be in the best seat, since it will be right in the middle). (Ride is anywhere from 4-5 minutes, not including the pre-show.)
When To Go: Within the first 30 minutes of park opening, or anytime with a Fastpass. See Rock ‘n’ Rollercoaster for my morning tips for visiting these attractions.

Rock ‘n’ Rollercoaster Starring Aerosmith (A++) {FP} (RNRC)

This rollercoaster is the only coaster on property that goes upside down. In fact, it has two loops, a corkscrew, and goes from 0-57 mph in 2 seconds! The coaster is primarily in the dark, but has some sights and sounds, along with a “killer Aerosmith soundtrack” blasting in your ears as you go. So here’s the short history behind this: Universal Studios opened Islands of Adventure, which has tons of coasters… well at least 3. And Busch Gardens already had a bunch of coasters. So jumping on the bandwagon, Disney proposed a launching coaster featuring the music of the Rolling Stones. But the Rolling Stones wanted too much money. [I’m a big RS fan, and that would have been a terrible idea – their biggest hits are not remotely conducive to a thrill ride.] So the Imagineers all ran out to their cars to go look at CDs. When they returned, one of them asked, “How much would it cost to get U2?” Jason Surrell (of his literary fame, writing books on “Pirates of the Caribbean: From the Magic Kingdom to the Movies”, “Haunted Mansion”, “The Disney Mountains,” and “Avengers: The Art of Marvel’s The Avengers”) said, “U don’t want to know.” [also a terrible idea – even less compatible than The Stones]. After trying 4 bands, they finally got Aerosmith, who proved to be the most affordable… I guess the Imagineers must’ve played “Revolution X” and realized Aerosmith would do anything. [So true. But four bands more expensive than Aerosmith?! My guesses: The Who, Metallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Michael Jackson – I mean artists whose biggest hits would befit a rollercoaster ride’s soundtrack]. Anyway, the story of the ride is simple. First off, there’s a giant fender strat sticking out of the record studio (G-Force Records) [not to be confused with Battle of the Planets Records] and you go in to see posters of Disney artists who have CDs coming out as well as Aerosmith. Then you walk past a bunch of cool doors where “artists are at work” if you put your ears to it and listen closely. [But are any of them from Men At Work?] Finally you make it into the recoding room. Aerosmith is standing in front of you (you are across the glass from them) and they tell you that they can’t perform a number because they are on their way to a show. But the show is just in a few minutes. Steve Tyler offers you backstage passes and a really fast limo that will get you there ASAP. So you go out the back door, through a California alleyway with posters from random bands: once I saw The Ramones on Joey’s “anniversary of his death” – once I saw “Simon and Milo” of Prozzäk fame. Eventually you board the limo. ASk for a front seat, and NEVER accept a “no.” If they say no, then tell them that it’s your only chance to ride it because you have to leave after this. Whine, bitch, or whatever because they are supposed to let you ride wherever you like. RNRC is the only ride besides Soarin’  that has ever given me trouble about where I wanted to sit. Once I was told I could not ride in the front, so I waited for the front anyway. The CM yelled at me and I demanded to see his supervisor. Her gor her for me, I told her the situation, and she scolded him and gave me a free VIP pass for the day, saying I could ride it as many times as I wanted w/o standing in line all day. And she signed it. Good story! 🙂 Anyway, you will be BLASTED from 0-57 in 2 seconds (while you get your picture taken) and immediately fly through the first loop in the dark. You will be pulling 5 Gs by the 1st loop. That 2 more than astronauts experiencing liftoff on a space shuttle!! Interspersed with scenes from Southern California’s night-time, which is fairly uninteresting, you fly through LA trying to get to the concert. It only takes one minute, but it’s the smoothest rollercoaster you have ever ridden. Very nice. Very fun. Also back in the day, when Joe Perry asks his roadie to grab his black Les Paul, someone actually came out, grabbed it and handed it to him. They have done away with this Cast Member, which is a shame. (1 minute ride, 1½-2 minute pre-show).
When To Go: Right when the park opens or anytime with a FastPass. Here’s my strategy: when the rope is dropped, rush straight to RNRC, grab a FP, get on the ride, run to ToT, then go back to RNRC with Fastpass. You can do it the other way if you like. However, Tower of Terror is longer and less satisfying to do two times in a row, since the line takes longer to get through as well, and your stomach may not like the drops as much as the loops and corkscrew. Plus I like rollercoasters better. [What a coincidence, so do I.]

Shopping

Villains In Vogue – merchandise themed to the baddies of Disney films. Villains have become so popular after Nightmare Before Christmas began appealing to the Hot Topic Goth / psuedo-punk kids (too bad, cos it’s a great film). Ever since then, the depressed, unique, non-conformist youths have been scrounging for villain merch (Hook, Ursula, Malificent, Queen of Hearts (for the gay crowd), and Jafar among many others), and merch revolving around Nightmare Before Christmas  and Pirates of the Caribbean. Not necessarily bad gals/gals here, but since the films revolve around ghosts + skeletons and pirates, respectively, they are shoved in with Disney’s villain collection. You can buy it all here at Villains in Vogue along with candy, which is bad for you… I guess that’s why it’s here. A very small confectionary is attached.
Sunset Club Couture – fashioned after the first theatre to ever play Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, this place unfortunately only sells regular Disney merch, and that’s it.
Mouse About Town – collectibles can be found here, but also regular Disney souvenirs.
Tower of Terror Shop – One of the best souvenir shops! You can get everything from personalized towels with the Hollywood Tower Hotel logo (embroider your name at Adrien and Ediths), a front desk bell, games based on mysteries (e.g.: the “Lost” game), a buried treasure game, MANY shirts and other apparel with the attraction’s logo, and more! They also have other merch from “Lost” and Nightmare Before Christmas here.
Rock ‘N’ Rollercoaster Gift Shop – you can get guitar picks with the attraction’s name on it, also wigs, drumsticks, and other music oriented supplies, plus fun things like “All Access” passes, shirts, etc. They have leather pants, which is hilarious, plus plush of slut groupie Minnie, which is awesome! They also sell Aerosmith CDs here. For some reason, the one my dad is on [“Rock in a Hard Place”, but he could also be referring to “Night in the Ruts”] is never in stock. Goddamn it! [If I were Disney, I would also sell Skittles as well.]

Live Entertainment

Streetmosphere (A) Same as the ones on Hollywood Blvd. They roam around here too.

Dining + Snacks

Catalina Eddie’s: (Food: C; Service: B+; Price: same as always) (American fast food)
So this is one of the 3 next door neighbor Sunset Blvd counter services. The food is very blah and normal. The counter service in MGM is usually pretty blah. Not much variety. Here you will find cheese/pepperoni pizza, which is never good at Disney counter service, deli sandwiches which are normal, salads, apple pie, and chocolate cake. The desserts are good enough, but the food is so unfortunately average. Nothing special here.
Rosie’s All American Cafe: (Food: C-; Service: B+; Price: same as always) (American fast food)
Next door to Catalina Eddie’s, you can get cheeseburgers, veggie burgers, chicken strips, soups, side salads, fries, and chips. Also apple pie and chocolate cake. The burgers are pre-made here, so if you’re looking for burgers, there are better places, but not by much. Nothing special here either.
Toluca Legs Turkey Co.: (Food: B+; Service: B+; Price: same as always) (American fast food)
Next door to Rosie’s, they have smoked turkey legs, hot dogs, coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and such. This place is good if you like the turkey legs. There is always place to go for the turkey legs in each park. Again, we’ve seen this selection before, but it’s better than its neighbors.
Swirlees: (Food: A-; Service: A; Price: same) (ice cream)
This place keeps changing its name – it’s RIGHT next to Rock ‘n’ Rollercoaster, and close to the turkey legs. Here, you can get some pretty decent ice cream. MMM! 🙂 I like the ice cream here – I’ve always gone to this shop rather than the other ones…but those are OK too.

[to be continued…]