[DISCLAIMER: The following was originally written by Jerry Skids back in 2009. He is a big Disney fan. He has his own WDW-themed podcast, which you can find here, or here. This is 100% Jerry’s words, completely unedited, out of respect to Jerry. If you are confused by any of the acronyms, check out the previous posts. My comments are listed in [ ] – anything in ( ) are all Jerry’s words. I have not fact-checked any of this information. Obviously some things have definitely changed since 2009, and should be used for comparative purposes only, as many attractions have come and gone since the time this was written. However, that does not invalidate his suggestions one iota. This is still useful, and I think this is so amazing, that I want to share his knowledge and wisdom. Thank you Jerry! Posted with his permission. – Editor]
WDW For The Single Guy: an experiment
Part 11 – Theme Park Etiquette
Tourists are scum. This is why when you go to WDW, I urge you to follow some freakin’ etiquette rules. Why is it that so many people care only about themselves on vacation? [Only on vacation, Jerry? Try 24/7/365.25] Is it the fact that they paid for a trip, so they think they’re entitled to everything and everything? The Disnoids have come up with a slew of what seems like obvious rules that everyone should follow while visiting the parks. There are also a few I disagree with – and I’ll mention them here. Let’s get right into this.
- When walking with a big group, don’t walk side by side! No one can get by and these groups tend to walk extremely slow. It’s annoying and they should be killed.
- I know there’s a lot of photographic opportunities, but please don’t stop in the middle of the road to do it. You’re going to have unsuspecting guests behind bumping into you, and just getting annoyed. The same goes for map reading – don;t stop in the middle of the goddamn road! Move to the side, find a bench, or step into a restaurant.
- Have a stroller or a wheelchair? Watch yourself! Do you know how often these people run into guests on the street? ECVs (Electronically Controlled Vehicles) are the W-O-R-S-T-!!
- Don’t cut in line for food, characters attractions, or anything!!!
- When you are on a ride or in a show, do not start yelling and screaming (unless it’s a roller coaster, or other thrill ride obviously.) Nothing is more annoying than someone on ruining the attraction for you. Use movie theatre rules, damn it.
- When they say “No Flash Photography,” they mean it. You can ruin a whole attraction for someone by filling a dark area with too much light. Don’t do it!
- Keep your racial, gender, or other discriminatory comments to yourself.
- When watching a fireworks show, do not tell your kids it is okay for them to run in front of someone just because they are small. It’s annoying. It’s rude. And you’re not special.
- Cell phones and smart phones. I know we live in a techie world, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be on your phone while you are involved in an attraction. There’s no reason for you to be on your phone at all! Here’s a radical idea – let it charge in your hotel room, and go out without it for the day. It would be lie old times… when there were no distractions. I know this is probably ridiculous to you, so here’s the more realistic advice… Don’t use your phone unless: A) you are at a rest area; B) you are entering in a girl’s number; C) making ADRs; D) you have an emergency; or E) you are trying to meet up with someone. You will have so much more fun! [This is a losing battle. The Millennial Generation can not fathom the concept of living without access to social media no matter the location or circumstances. I agree with Jerry, but I lived over 3 decades without a cell phone or social media, so I’m an old fogey. Not oto mention this was written before the invention of the selfie stick. Wait until you listen to Jerry rant about that horrible invention.]
- Know what you want before you get to the first of the food line. Nothing says ‘Waste of time’ like having to wait behind someone who can’t make a fucking decision.
- Pool Hopping: The Conundrum – Some people say that you shouldn’t use the pool at a hotel other than the one you are staying in. I only agree if you are staying off property. Now, I think that if you are taking the time to visit a hotel, you should be able to use their pool AS LONG AS they are the same level as your hotel. Meaning, if you stay at a deluxe, you can go to any of the deluxe resorts to swim. There are some really cool pools and you should be able to experience them. Just remember, Yacht + Beach Club has a special pool that you need a wristband to get in.
- It’s raining? If you’re using an umbrella, watch that you don’t poke someone’s eye.
- You have a map. Stop asking Cast Members where the restrooms are!
- Do not have separate family members wait on character lines so your kid can see all the characters in the area quickly. This is bullshit, because other people have to wait their turn. So does your spoiled brat. Don’t think you can cheat the world.
- Laugh at the CM’s jokes. They are just trying to make sure you have a good time. Lighten the fuck up. You know it’s funny, so don’t make them feel like they suck.
- HAVE FUN! Don’t call home to find out what’s going on with work. Don’t make too much of a big deal out of asshole CMs or annoying guests.
- Oh, and of they tell you to move all the way down the row w/o stopping in the center — well, you didn’t follow my instructions about the theatre shows — do it. It’s a stupid role and you were the first , but it solves problems like fighting and “tripping.”
- Besides that, follow the normal manners you should be following at home [emphasis mine], but more excessively – there’s impressionable kids present — oh, and there’s nothing wrong with PDA, but keep it above the waist — keep it PG rated unless you’re in Downtown Disney, the hotels, or anywhere else kids shouldn’t be or aren’t present.
- P.S. – No smoking in non-designated areas, or I’ll KILL you myself.