New Rule – The New York Mets must stop selling minority ownership shares of the team to stand-up comedians. Real Time host Bill Maher recently announced that he had purchased one of the minority shares of the New York Mets franchise. The Mets already have a clown in the front office already, thank you very much. And his name is Jeff Wilpon. When reached for comment, Maher responded, “Hey it was either the Mets… or some dopey, second-rate pop-culture blog that updated roughly once a week.” This is not the way you are supposed to mix sports with comedy. Look, in order to balance things out, the fine folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber and Deadspin need their very own show on HBO.
Not to be outdone, Bain Capital has announced their intention to buy the New York Yankees. They plan to sell off Derek Jeter, Robinson Cano, Curtis Granderson, CC Sabathia, Alex Rodriguez, the YES Network, Yankee Stadium, and Monument Park to the highest bidders, relegate the team down to the (AAA minor) International League – then sell the team for a healthy profit.