Omnibus · Power Rankings

French Fries Power Rankings: March, 2012 edition

It’s time for a new list of the power rankings. The last time I did a FFPR was back here. Unlike the fast food power rankings, this is not about marketing. Basically, the rankings are based on how much I would want to order the fries at a particular fast food joint. In fact, because I am a cheap bastard, there have been times in which I ordered just fries for a meal. I do not include family style restaurants in the list because all of them suck at making fries. Besides, not only do most of those restaurants not allow you to just order the fries, no one in their right minds would (high prices, poor quality – just go to the frozen food aisle at a supermarket if you are that desperate.) Lest you guys think I want to be another Morgan Spurlock, I solicit and accept opinions from others, especially when it comes to franchises that are not in my neck of the woods. 

  1. Wendy‘s – I rarely get stale fries. And the switch to sea salt gives them a huge advantage over the competition. The size and proportions are very economical, which means it’s probably not healthy.
  2. 5 Guys – I hear complaints that the portions are too much. I say too much is not enough. The large portion should keep you going for the next 2-3 days.
  3. McDonald’s – Still considered the gold standard by most people. I don’t disagree, but McD’s fries tend to go soggy really fast. There is a decent probability to get an order that’s been sitting in the warmer for a while. And some employees tend to pour too much salt over them. (In this case, too much is more than enough).
  4. Nathan’s  – While they have a high tendency to be soggy, it is one of the rare cases in which they are better when overcooked. Points for being unique in size and shape.
  5. White CastleThey have a terrible reputation on quality, but I have not had an instance where the fries were mixed with any of their other products (e.g.: onion rings, chicken rings, fried clams.) Almost always crispy and fresh.
  6. Shake Shack –  Maybe I’m buying into their healthy angle too much, but they are very tasty. Portions are too small.
  7. Arby‘s – They have the best curly fries out there.
  8. Chick-Fil-A – The cutoff point begins here. Plainly average, or best of the worst.
  9. KFC –  Never known as a paragon of health, but at least they gets points for going with potato wedges. Nevertheless, I now choose other sides, such as their cole slaw, or corn on the cob.
  10. Burger King – I know they market the fries every other year: new oil, new potatoes, extra crispness, etc. They have only improved marginally. The rise in the rankings is more indicative on the awfulness of the ones below BK.
  11. Jack in the Box – Even their curly fries are bland and tasteless. Quite a remarkable feat.
  12. Sonic – The awfulness of the fries must be by design in order to make the rest of the menu options taste better by comparison. If so, that strategy is not working.
  13. Popeye’s – Like its main rival, KFC, you do no want to get this side order. Considering how the market themselves as being Cajun style, they are quite mild, and no difference in taste to any of the others.
  14. Checker’s – The Undercover Boss should have gone to Five Guys instead in order to try to steal their formula. Portions way too small. Perhaps that may be a blessing in disguise.
  15. Ranch1 – Their shoestring fries taste like McDonald’s fries left out in your refrigerator after 3 days. I don’t know why chicken fast food franchises can not make good fries, but they are certainly the worst of the lot.
  16. In-N-Out – Cold, soggy, and disgusting is no way to go through life. Being undercooked doesn’t help either.
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